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July 26, 2023

Fun random products you might like

Inflation got your down? Nothing makes me feel better than a little retail therapy. I know, you’re probably being frugal right now, but July is my birthday month, and I love the idea of people treating themselves in honor of my birthday. You know where to get your wood jewelry; here are some other ideas. As a bonus, none of them involve Jeff Bezos getting richer.

Excited to Climb the Corporate Ladder Then Die candle

I discovered Virgins On Fire Candle Co. at a local boutique. Their candles smell fantastic, but they really got me hooked with their titles. In addition to “Excited to Climb the Corporate Ladder Then Die,” my favorites include “Enjoy Your Turkey, Racist” (cranberry and cyprus) and “Lesbians and Taco Trucks” (mint mojito). Brooklyn-based, the company makes its candles with 100% soy wax and sources from socially responsible suppliers. Not to the mention the owner quit his job to start the company and follow his dreams. I’m biased, but I think that’s pretty great.

$22.50 at Virgins On Fire Candle Co.

Adopt a narwal

Get a cute stuffed animal and help protect the future of nature with a symbolic animal adoption through World Wildlife Fund. You can choose your animal from a bunch of options; I like the narwals. While an adoption is naturally a great gift for a child, I strongly encourage you to adopt an animal for yourself, because you almost certainly don’t have enough stuffed animals in your bedroom. During those moments when you find yourself curled up in the fetal position contemplating the ruin that late-stage capitalism has brought to the earth, you can hug your new friend.

$60 at World Wildlife Fund

Jesus Loves Sluts t-shirt

Feminist Trash makes edgy clothes for your intersectional feminist needs, beyond girl power themes like “Fries before guys.” I have the t-shirt pictured here (I would have taken a selfie in it, but my shirt needs ironing and my selfie skills are not very good). Other shirt favorites of mine include “He Would Look Good In A Therapist’s Office” and “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Bleeding.” Feminist Trash is also committed to sustainability and sourcing from ethical brands and suppliers.

$34.99 at Feminist Trash

Bioluminescent Octopus Orb

A luminescent globe will come in handy when the zombie apocalypse takes out all our electricity. Containing dinoflagellates, a type of marine algae that emits light, the glowy sphere will keep lighting up as long as you keep feeding the dinos. I also love that it gives off a Pink Floyd laser light show vibe, or a drinking-indulgently-and spilling-my-secrets vibe.

$99 at Uncommon Goods

Feminist Sticker Club

I admit it, I love subscription boxes. Even when a particular subscription consistently delivers items I don’t want or need, I’ll keep subscribing just for the monthly surprise. The Feminist Sticker Club is perfect for scratching your subscription itch — it’s very affordable, the stickers are cool, and you don’t get a box of mostly crap every month you have to try to regift. The folks behind the Feminist Sticker Club also run the Cat Sticker Club, with, you guessed it, cat-themed stickers every month.

$42 for the annual plan at Feminist Sticker Club

What’s on your wish list?

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